Bonding Teeth

So I went to the dentist for the first time in three years, and it turns out the kid's gotta get his chipped teeth fixed. I blogged the day after, but I didn't really tell the story. Here you go:

Trying to keep it to an early evening, I headed out to Riese's erotic reading at the Happy Ending Lounge. Completely random experience: Held in a massage parlor since converted into a bar, loaded with a bunch of not-quite-familiar with each other people and snacks provided on paper plates, mainly because whenever I get really randy, I want nothing more than a Cheez-It.

I awkwardly joked my way through listening to random erotica in public (cheers to Caittt and A;ex being just as weirded out), and eventually it was time for Riese. We sidled up to the front and plopped down on the floor splay-legged like a group of grade schoolers at storytime. Riese ripped through "Fucking Around," which you can read by buying this. She's a champ. But you know this, because you read AutoStraddle 1.0. Or should.

The reading finished and I headed with the girls over to Babeland (Link NSFW!), where we spent a half-hour playing with and making fun of sex toys. While there, I remembered my not-yet roommates The Minority Reporter and The Dirty Mexican were at a show nearby. Shot him a text, and it turned out Exit Clov had yet to go on. The girls peaced out, so I bounced around the corner to Cake Shop, got a few beers in the system and enjoyed watching the best band I've ever seen ... featuring two Asian twin sisters singing.

TMR was on tap to meet some girls at B Bar, and slight inebriation + peer pressure = me tagging along. So we get there, and I go up to buy drinks, recognizing the bartender from my time as an 1849 regular. She hooks me up with a free drink, and after I tell the Jagermeister story (ask me sometime), so does the random dude next to me at the bar. I am about to leave the bar, and I run into an approaching ex.

She is there on a first date with some dude, and she is happy to see me. The date is not going well. Her and the boy join me and the fellas. Her and I go up for another round ... of making out, because evidently we hadn't got it out of our system when ish went sour a year prior. Well, that and ridiculous kissing chemistry, which never, ever (ever!) goes away.

The boy leaves, I leave with the girl. Ostensibly I was walking her to the train so she could go back to Astoria and I could take a Q the opposite way. I woke up at 5 a.m., seated on an idling N at Ditmars Blvd. (which, for the unaware, is the last stop in Queens). Based on the time loss, I had gone to Brooklyn and back.

I peeled my face off the pole, realizing something felt not quite right in my mouth. Nothing hurt, really, but something was ... off. It took a couple of runs of the tongue to notice I was missing upper and lower incisors on the left side. My cheek didn't hurt, even with pressure, but my eyebrow was bruised. I checked, and I had all my possessions -- wallet, keys, the whole nine.

Best guess is I passed out leaning up against the pole, the train stopped hard at some point and *CRUNCH* no more vampire moments for this Brooklyn Boy. And there you have it.

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