Monday, November 5, 2007

To the Classy Broad at the Changeover in Kingston

She was actually painful to look at
because a glance
became a stare
became uncool
so I cheated
and gazed upon her reflection
in the longform mirror of a window
on the front door of the bus
we were about to board.

Her friend might have been more beautiful
more casually confident
in her ability to be stunning
so cool she slid across ice
into insignificance
only catching my eye
before the other girl kept it.

This one
she made sure to present the total package
for anyone on the bus
just well fucking put together
and I bet she'd blow off a compliment
saying it's nothing
when we both know
she's lying through her teeth
words slipping through spaces between
evading the hours spent shopping
and running through combinations
until she found one that fit
slid on like skin made of confidence
candy-coating a center that cried
the first time she was told
that she wasn't pretty enough
to not put out
and Johnny had been sleeping with Sally
because she did
and that made her worthlessness worthwhile
even as it made this one feel like shit
for not offering her body at a discount
sale offers not accepted,
and hopefully someone spent right
rescuing her from the rack
where she never looked as good
as she would off and about
no Cheer needed to retain vibrancy.

And she wants to get wrapped up
entangled in another
but doesn't know how to escape hot water
colors running so fast
she ends up looking nothing like herself
swirled reminders of every relationship
that's left an imprint on her soul
garment worn like a sleeve
because that's the only way it fits
anything else
is uncomfortable.

The tags call for permanent press
in a world of timers:

handle her
with care.
A poem-to-be:

I learned I could let myself be loved
and that not everyone
was pinning their hopes to my shoulders
giant game of Jenga
removing pieces of my experience
before piling expectations on top
leaving so many holes
they're all bound to tumble
from one failure too many
to achieve what they've envisioned
PS Job Update
The interview went well, I think. My potential boss introduced me to two more people to interview with, and I feel like I did the damn thing. They'll let me know within the next few days, and I'll keep y'all crazy kids posted, I promise.

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