The last day we were in Austin for the National Poetry Slam, after the barbecue, but before Team finals, we went cliff jumping. And to get back to the top, you had to rock climb. Otherwise you were swimming about a quarter-mile or so, just to have an easier climb, one more like hiking, really. So watching the locals shimmy up with ease, I said, "Fuck it" and started up. And got to a point where I was standing on a plateau, with the "top" of the cliff about a foot above my head (I'm 5'10), and no good second handhold to provide the leverage to pull up without inordinate risk.
The kids saw the dilemma, and told me there was a knothole in the rock on the topside of the cliff, which was how they all got up. But groping around by feel, I couldn't find it, even with their guidance. Bryan Lee, waiting behind me, suggested giving me a leverage boost, and we quickly hashed out the best way to do so, and I was up quick and easy. When I saw the knothole, I felt like an idiot because it was RIGHT THERE. I couldn't believe I was unable to locate it.
And then I jumped again. And climbed back up. And visualized the knothole and pulled myself up with no problem, earning a nod of approval from a townie.
This is a parable with multiple lessons.
1. I have trouble envisioning things I can't see for myself.
The best way to explain this is with math. I absolutely DESTROYED trigonometry in high school. "A" in each semester, despite having the two hardest math teachers at a math/science magnet school. Trig made sense to me - there are set formulas, you know which to apply, apply them, and then bang-bang dunzo.
Then came calculus. Pre-cal more specifically, but anyway. Calc, while still formula based, involves mental visualization of succeeding steps. I simply COULD NOT map out what I needed to jump from the provided information to the answer asked for. That was the end of my math career. An ability to memorize carried me along well enough, and though higher-level, applied mathematics intrigues me, I knew my energy would be better focused in fields that required less needless mental exertion.
If something isn't clicking for mentally, I'm not going to get it, no matter how obvious it seems to someone else. With a lil patience, I can usually be swung around. And once it clicks, I'm completely self-sufficient.
2. I need to be able to see the next step to proceed.
I'm goal-oriented. Without really thinking about it, I set mental markers for myself with big things, and let the details sort themselves out. But if I forsee obstacles, I'm going in a different direction sooner rather than later. I only run with situations as long as they make sense. Maybe that's a defense mechanism, but it's how I do.
When I was going to school, it was all about getting to college; at the college paper, getting to cover men's basketball; working at Barnes and Noble, getting a sportswriting gig; moving to Oneonta, finding my way to a real city within two years. Just months after I had set myself to stick it out through Inductions '08 before bouncing on the college town, and decided that my realistic next-step dream job would be writing for a national basketball mag with an NBA focus, that opportunity (essentially) arose. Hadn't thought about what I really wanted to do from here, but once I did, life happened. Some of those goals are more specific than others, sure. But I kept working toward each and was prepared for the opportunities when they presented themselves. (Word to Mick Mixon).
Now, I'm aiming to score a permanent hire with the NBA by the time my 10-month project position is up. And trying to make one of the NYC slam teams (with Oneonta as a fallback). And maintaining the momentum of the kickass situation with my favorite AB. It's like I need to establish the plateaus so I'm able to not worry myself with the details and just be in whatever situation I'm in, experiencing and enjoying it for what it is, and not what it isn't.
3. I work well with others to accomplish things I need or want to do, often more successfully than I would on my own.
When Bryan suggested the boost, I didn't pridefully smack down the idea - I immediately ran with it, and was up in a shorter time than it takes me to finish during sex. I'm a facilitator. One of those Scottie Pippen/Kevin Garnett/Shawn Marion-type cats who can carry a team if need be, but are better off with a lead dog getting the attention while we boost everyone else in ways you won't notice unless you're really paying attention.
That sounds kind of cocky, but here's the example:
Back at UNC, coolest-Rabbi-ever Sharon Mars actually allowed me to deliver the D'Var Torah (sermon) one week at NC Hillel. Crazy, I know. Even crazier was her working with me on producing it as a spoken word poetry piece. It went over well, and I ended up doing another, and then a third at a statewide Shabbat service, after which a Rabbi suggested I do that for every portion, publish and sell to bar mitzvah teachers everywhere because it would help make 5,000-year-old words accessible to the current generation.
Despite a few bursts of writing, this didn't happen. But my buddy Phil, annoyed by how "polished" most Rabbinical sermons or written d'vars tend to be, approached me with a question: Why isn't there anyone our age - and of varying practice - writing these outside of formal settings? I had no answer. There are sites like Jew School and magazines like Heeb that cater to the "cultural Jew," but there's no - okay, one - source for weekly, for us by us commentary on the one common link all those who associate themselves as "Jews" share - The Torah.
With my background in blogging, I set up The Watering Hole. It's fledgling, and it's a struggle to make sure there's something up every week, but we've gotten nothing but positive feedback. People love the idea, even if they don't consider themselves "worthy" of contributing because they're intimidated or don't feel "Jewish" enough. It is a hard sell, and I've run into brick walls with people who I know would be awesome, and that's frustrating as fuck. But I love the stuff that's up there, and am amazed every time someone tells me they "didn't have enough time" or "are sorry this sucks," because I have yet to see a submission that I wasn't proud to be posting. I am sticking with this - and email harassing people - until it catches on, because it will. It's too good of an idea not to. Kindly fuck off if you don't think so. Thanksbye. =D
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