Had a Bad Day

Fifteen minutes into the post-work phone call, I cut myself short:

"Thanks for letting me vent."

"If someone had to listen to you, I'm glad it was me."

"Me too."

She's my bad day call. Amazing. Read my mood from the jump and everything. Weathered the scattershot griping and was still excited to set up a "meet the friends" date. This is the by far the healthiest dating relationship in the history of ... me. Go Team!

PS My math sucks. I added a month on accident. Ha. Feels like longer, maybe?

Also, two amazing searches that led people to my site:

1. lesbian piggybackride thumbs
   (This is because of the drunken piggyback I gave Semicolon on the LES following Riese's erotic reading at the Happy Ending Lounge. Fun night, that one.)
   
   
2. "peeing very loudly"
   (This is because I once wrote about the volume of peeing.)

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Home, Home on the Range

Spent the 4th on the fam farm in Kansas for a mini-reunion. There's not much to do out there. We ate lots of meat, drank lots of beer and set off some fireworks. Hermano and I made sure to set aside time to watch the cows, and he went fishing with our old man one afternoon while I took a nap. They caught catfish. Also, we took a family trip to the casino to kill an hour before my brother and I had to fly out ... from Kansas City, which was a good 1 1/2-hour drive from teeny, tiny Holton (pop. 3,200; roughly the enrollment at my high school). I went $50 down, pulled back up to -$15 and settled on -$5 after a $20 reimbursement from mi madre. Not so bad at all.

Been working late a lot, though things (I think) are slowing down for real after last week's new acquisition introductory interview conveyor belt. That's always nice. Also, we'll pretty much know in three months whether I'll be making a decision in five months. That timeline makes sense if you've solved the j-o-b puzzle by now. Hopefully ish is easy breezy. We shall see, indeed.

Things are still smoother than could ever have been expected with The Lady, with Captain 6-8 Weeks about to enter No. 16. This is the part where I try not to think about my entire family commenting that I looked like a natural/was a pro holding my 6-day-old first-cousin-once-removed. Way, way, way too early in the life cycle. In time, though. I do believe those comments are obligatory as long as the baby doesn't have to be handed back bawling. She was so small. Full head of hair, though. Babies are weird. Also, the other cousin's kid (1-year-old) is a chunker. Like a wee lil Stay Puft Marshmallow Woman.

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My Eyes are Bleeding

Things that have made me waaay too crabby for the 8 o'clock a.m. hour:

1. Not having showered since Saturday night because our stupid drain is blocked, two liquid plumber runs haven't helped and the super hasn't come yet.
2. Having to be the last person at work yesterday because I was there until 10 p.m. writing two articles, a blog, and updating our Web site. I'm not leaving my house before 9 a.m. in protest.
   
3. Finding out my brother and I are flying out to a fam reunion from LaGuardia on Friday at 7 A.M. Why my mother would do that to us is beyond me. I must not be calling enough. Silly Jew guilt trips. (Ha! Get it?)
4. Not seeing The Lady in two whole days.

PS I know the last thing is "Gag-me-with-a-spoon" gross, but whatever. Deal with it. Three months in, I'm figuring out a way to. Mostly because I like it. (Say it with me now ...)

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Ninjas Invade NYC(& How You Can Score Free Swag)

So apparently I attract an audience that people want to market to. Something about me being a potential "tastemaker." Because I got three e-mails in a week from Lauren at Whisper PR about an event that I'd actually attend were it not [Major Offseason Event Night] (Yes, I know that made it really difficult to discern--ed.), I thought I'd pass it along to you crazy kids, mainly because it involves two awesome things -- alcohol and free swag -- and the clinching amazingness: NINJAS.

If you're around the city today from 2-4 p.m. (Love that lunch break!), there will be free-swag chucking ninjas invading various Manhattan parks on behalf of TY KU, a new Asian wine & Spirits brand. They'll be tossing hats, t-shirts and TY KU recipe cards at each location, with the sneak attacks culminating in a 100-Calorie Cocktail Happy Hour at Bryant Park Grill, with the "ninja party" continuing through the night via promotional TY KU Sake tastings at NYC liquor stores.

Schedule

• 2:00-Ninjas descend on Madison Square Park
• 2:15-Ninjas prowl to Washington Square Park
• 2:30-Ninjas emerge at Washington Square Park
• 2:45-Ninjas stalk over to Union Square Park
• 3:00-Ninjas move like shadows through Union Square Park
• 3:15-Ninjas escape to Bryant Park
• 3:30-Ninjas hover & ambush in Bryant Park
• 4:00-Mission complete, its time for Sake Bombs

Also, if you're of drinking age like you probably should be reading this b-l-o-g, make sure to enter their online “Ninja Getaway” Vegas Vacation contest, which could send you and a friend to Las Vegas, NV with round-trip airfare, a stay at a lavish hotel, nights out at the hottest clubs and lounges, tickets to a Las Vegas show, spa treatments and a personal Mixed Martial Arts lesson.

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Time Check

Wearing nothing except traces of her on my thighs, I lean across a pillow and punch the 'OK' button on the center of her cell phone. The display lights up, and a digital number flashes in front of my eyes.

"Guess the time," I tell her.

"I don't want to know," she says, Southern accent lingering on the final "w."

"11:30."

She sighs contentedly, her eyes closed, holding onto the moment before she opens them again. She kisses me on the shoulder.

"I like it. So much."

I nod.

"Every time. This is getting ridiculous. We got in bed before 10."

She smiles. We kiss. And then again. She passes me a towel. I wipe clean, hit the lights, and sleep.

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A Weekend on the Hill

Was back on the Hill with the fellas this weekend for a bachelor party so wild a 30-something dad splashing with his two sons in a lake called us lame. Maybe more later, but the best story I heard all three days was this:

Good buddy Moses Cleveland has been out in the Bay Area for a few years, and two years ago introduced another brother to the Bay to Breakers 12K, an area-tradition that involves costumes -- or a complete lack thereof -- and copious amounts of alocohol. After an ... interesting first outing, they returned for Round Two this past year. The fellas rolled through with white shirts and many a Sharpe, resulting in more than a few phone numbers and offers for fun times.

One lady in particular eyeballed Mo while signing, and stuck her tongue in her cheek as one hand brushed by his crotch. Drunk beyond belief, eyes half-lidded, Mo's still-inexplicable response to this universal sign for a public blowjob was:

"What are you, Filipino?"

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Settling In

It's 11 p.m. on Tuesday. I'm maybe 3/5 of the way through Once, which I'm quite thoroughly enjoying. It's a movie to my taste, gradually paced and a bit melancholy. Positive without being unrealistic. I'm waiting for the Tonight Show to start, because I want to watch Conan. I feel compelled to, despite not ever having gotten into The Late Show. He seems a likable dude, and I want him to succeed. I get good vibes. I'm irrational like that.

The new place is dope. Dig the setup, dig the area. Commute's easier, parking no more difficult. And now that I'm in the neighborhood I'm always trying to see shows and perform in, it's less of a pain to go out midweek; there's a big difference between a 30-minutes-plus-the-wait train ride and a 15(-maaaybe-20)-minute walk.

Saw a lot of Intangibles this weekend, because Sierra was in for her birthday and to feature at Lolita Bar. Omni made a good run Friday at the NuYo, though he got frakkin' robbed. Their loss. I know I'll be back in action with the kid this fall, being that I live around the corner from the damn spot. Just need a few poems I can compete with. The current list feels a little tired; I need to get back on that. Maybe writing/compiling the book will help. We shall see.

I introduced The Lady to the poetry people. In the car with Sierra the next day, after she jokingly gave me a hard time for not mentioning anything (our convos haven't lasted more than two minutes for months), Si said she got it -- The Lady and I, we "made sense." She's right.

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